Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize