Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think I just sharted jello shots
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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