I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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