The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
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Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
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You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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