sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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