I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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