All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
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Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
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Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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