some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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