Non-Jews are for practice
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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