I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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