He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize