Me. At least after what I've been through.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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