my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Those nachos came to me in a dream
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