I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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