there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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