Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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