Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize