and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
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Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize