direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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