I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize