I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize