Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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