I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
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It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
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I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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