You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
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i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
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