It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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