matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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