the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
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