white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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