I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize