I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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