What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
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Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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