I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
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