We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
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We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
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Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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