Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize