I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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