So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize