Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize