i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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