Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
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