I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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