they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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