Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
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A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
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I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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