put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize