You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Let's get the cat blown out
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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