he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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