Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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