Umm I'm too high to move.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize