Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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