You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
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He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
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She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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