We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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